Riddle me this.

I’m in your store, I tell you I want to buy something. You say, “Great, I’ll send someone right over to help you with that.”

This does not happen. Many minutes pass, during which I screw around with several of your computers, plugging a flash drive into just about anything I can find, and only after your clerk makes a second pass through the area does he stop and talk to me.

I reiterate my desire to buy something. You number two says, “You have to preorder that item here, but I can help you with that.”

But wait, there’s more. In order to preorder the thing I want, I have to buy a $50 gift card. Ostensibly, this is to prevent the bookstore problem, where customers special order items and never pick them up. And even if I later decide not to pick said thing up, I’m still on the hook for 50bux.

Whatever. I want to buy something. I may have mentioned this.

You number two hands me a piece of paper, and tells me it should be about a week until the think I wanted to buy today arrives. Mind you, this happens after my 50bux magically transforms into a gift card, so I SHOW YOU and find some other things to buy.

While I’m checking out of the store, You number three attempts to bribe me into a store credit card by offering me a $20 gift card. Hmm, says I. I like 20bux as much as the next guy, and I know I’ll be approved for said card. They’ve tried to give me two of them in the past in fact, while I was paying cash for a computer that was supposed to be charged to the card in question. Both times I’ve gracefully cancelled after the fact, and did I mention I wanted to buy something?

I have in fact been delayed in my attempts to buy something by roughly 40 minutes in your store. I use the new gift card, the “old” gift card, and am informed that I still have a $0.77 balance. I tell You number three that I’ll take a pass on that one.

I receive a cocker spaniel head cock. Whatever. I just wanted to buy something. I go upstairs to a different store, use a $50 gift card that I did NOT pay for, and make my way to the bus with a sack full of stuff.

The bus does not come. It continues to not come. I wait another 30 minutes in the rapidly cooling rain until the bus that I need does come, and I go home.

I check my email. GUESS WHAT! The thing I wanted to buy, the thing that will take a week to get there, because it’s not in stock and needs to be pre-ordered?

It’s in the store. I can pick it up whenever I want. Email sent? While I was waiting for the bus. During the period of time when no large or small trucks pulled up to your store.

So, what part of your small, COMMISSION FOCUSED mind thinks it’s a good idea not to tell me that I most likely will be able to pick up the thing I want, oh lets say, NOW.

The part that wants me to spend 50 bux while you’re on shift, that’s what.

Tomorrow, someone else will be helping me, I think…

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